My Sanctuary...

I will miss my sanctuary..a place i can take care of my soul..where i can heal my wounds, gather my strength and continue with my life..a room that holds my secrets..where i can be free.. ‪#‎mycrib‬ ‪#‎mybed‬ #myroom...

11.03.2015

May mga pagkakataong kailangan kong mag-isa.. Hindi dahil ayaw kong magkaron ng kasama kundi wala naman talaga akong pagpipilian kundi ang harapin ang bawat araw ng mag-isa..

Wala naman rin akong magagawa kundi sarilinin lang lahat ng nararamdaman kong lungkot..pag aalinlangan..sakit.. Dahil wala naman makakaintindi sakin.. Hindi ang pamilya ko..hindi ang mga kaibigan ko..at lalong hindi ang taong nag sasabing mahal nya ako..

Kailangan kong maging matatag para sa sarili ko..at para rin sa kanila..

Sa mata ng iba ang samasama kong tao..sa mga mata nila ang baba baba ko..pero wala akong magagawa sa kung anong iisipin at sasabihin nila sa akin..

Hindi ko alam hanggang kailan ko maitatago ang nararamdaman kong to..sana mamanhid na lang ako.. :(

50 Random Question.."???"

1. How old are you? - 27
2. Who is the last person you messaged - "velle" my bff's cousin.
3. What is the last book you read? - "Starting Over" by John Green
4. Describe yourself in 3 words. - Petite..Witty..Friendly..
5. What is your relationship status? - Technically Single...wew
6. Tell me three things most interesting about you. - I can be one of the boys..I can eat a lot..I can bake and cook.. :)
7. Are you a cat or dog person? - Both, I have a cat (but she's no longer with me) and 2 dogs.
8. What turns you on? - Good sense of humor.. A good distinctive smell..
9. Are you introverted or extroverted? - Definitely an extrovert!
10. What store do you shop the most? - Hmm..I shop at random stores..as long as it suits my style..cause i'm not after the brand..
11. Do you have any talents? - I can sing a little..ahahaha..
12. When did you first join blogspot? - 2010
13. What is your favorite tv show? - I have no particular fave..but i love cooking shows.. & shows in "Colours" channel
14. What product would you refuse to promote? - cigarette & liquor
15. Give me 5 hobbies you enjoy. - internet surfing, sound tripping, thrift shopping, videoke esp with friends, Food trippin'...
16. Pepsi or Coca-cola? - Coca-cola
17. Weirdest thing about you? - I have girl crushes..
18. Tell me one secret. - I don't use deodorant..haha
19. Zodiac sign? - Aquarius
20. Favorite dessert? - Blueberry Cheesecake, Brownies & Chocolates..
21. What is your hair and eye color? - Dark Brown? Am not sure..haha
22. Pet peeve? - Rude & Pervert
23. If you could dye your hair any color right now, what would it be? - Copper brown..how about purple? haha
24. Pants or skirt? - Skirt
25. Where was you last 3 hours ago? - In my bed..
26. Who is your favorite super hero? - Thor..Captain America..
27. If you could teleport where would you go right now? - Paris, France..I want to see the Eiffel Tower
28. Biggest fear? - To lose my loved ones..
29. Would you rather go back in time, or into the future? - Go into the future
30. Favorite genre of music? - Before alternative rock..Now more on acoustic pop & Hill songs..
31. Celebrity Crush? - Chris Hemsworth, Shaileen Woodley..and in local Dominic Roque
32. If you could change one thing about your looks what would it be? - Just my hair style coz I'm happy with my appearance
33. Craziest situation you've ever been in? - When my exes fight at the mall over me.. I was soooo embarrassed.. XD
34. Most annoying thing you've ever had to deal with? - Back stabber 
35. Least favorite food? - Spicy food
36. Favorite line from a movie? - "To the wrong person you will never have any worth. To the right person you mean everything." - God's not dead & "I would rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it." - City of Angels
37. What you do on rainy day? - Eat..Sleep..Watch movie..Internet Surfing..
38. What would you do if you win the lottery? - I will donate in charity programs, put up my own businesses, buy a house & cars, travel the world..share it with my family and save for future need..
39. Have you been in movies last 5 days ago? - Yeah..I watched Pan with a special someone
40. What is your guilty pleasure? - Shopping a lot.. I can't help it..
41. Hugs or Kisses? - Hugs!!
42. What is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex? - My wit and smile..haha
43. How many pillows do you sleep with? - Five
44. Sunrise or Sunset? - Sunset
45. What are you wearing right now? - A red t-shirt and a shorts..."pambahay"
46. Do you miss anyone right now? - Yeah!!
47. What's the last compliment you got? - I'm industrious..according to Mami :)
48. What is your perfume/cologne? - Right Now, I'm into Ed Hardy's "Love kills Slowly" & Escada's "Marine Groove"
49. Put your songs on shuffle, and tell me the first song that plays. - "Baby Now that I've found you" - MYMP
50. If you have super power, what would it be and why? - teleportation because i want to go to different places with just a blink of an eye..(yeah I would travel the world).. :)

MP3

Hmmm...wala lang..ang saya ko lang..
After ng 2 hours na pag reresearch..pag babasa...at pag papalipas ng gutom..
Naging matagumpay naman ako sa paglalagay ng music sa blog na ito..
Sabi na nga ba dapat ng IT na lang ako...ahahahaha...
At least ngayon mas masarap bumisita diba?
Masasabi kong productive na rin 'tong araw ko kahit papano dahil dito...
Pag gusto mo talaga may paraan..lahat natutunan... hugoat pa rin??
Anyways...
Kaya request na ng songs! (dj lng ang peg)....

Tulad ng isang sugat...

Single nanaman ba ang status mo??

Mag-kaiba raw ang lalake at babae kung paano mag-isip..makaramdam at humarap sa pagkasawi sa pag-ibig o pagkawala ng taong mahal nila pero ang bottom line..ang sakit! Oo..ang sakit sakit..

Para sa mga taong nakipagbrake..naiwan at nasaktan..o namatayan man..ang pagbangon o ang pagsisimula ulit ang pinaka mahirap na pagsubok...lalo na kung hindi mo naman inaasahan o ni hindi mo nga na-imagine...

Yung puso mo parang nadudurog habang umiiyak ka dahil sa sobrang kalungkutan at sa dami ng gumugulo sa isip mo..Parang tumigil ang pag-ikot ng mundo mo dahil wala kang magawa kasi hindi mo na pwedeng baguhin ang lahat lahat.. Ang oras ay tila bang napakatagal lumipas..ang tingin mo sa paligid parang walang kulay at pakiramdam mo may kulang..
Ang bawat araw na daraan ay parang isang pakikipaglaban sa gyera..na alam mong sa huli talo ka kasi at the end of the day matutulog kang may luha sa mga mata...at darating ang panahon na manhid ka na..pero kapag naramdaman mo nanaman na may kulang..ayan masasaktan ka nanaman..magmumukmok at iiyak..at iisipin na ang buhay mo ay hindi muling babalik sa dati..

Ngutin darating ang pagkakataon na tapos ka na sa kakaemote mo.. Sa isip at puso mo..ay unti-unti mong tatanggapin ang lahat at palalayain ang sarili mo sa bagay na alaman mo naman na hindi mo mababago...

Sa panahong ito kailangan mo ng masasandalan gaya ng kaibigan...pamilya at lalong lalo na si GOD..
Okay lang na umiyak ka ng balde balde..magwala ka kung gusto mo..magpakalasing ka..Pero huwag kang humanap ka agad ng kapalit nya..kasi hindi naman basta-basta mawawala ang sakit..
Maaring galit ka pero kailangan mo ring magpatawad..lalo na sa iyong sarili kung sa tingin mo ay mayroon kang naging pagkukulang...

Walang formula sa pag move-on..walang ring fast forward or time-line..hindi ito naituro sa school..at lalong walang exam or practice para dito..
Hindi ito kung paano makalimot kundi kung paano tumanggap..
Ang pag move-on ay isang proseso na kailangan mong pagdaan..kailangan mong harapin para makapag simula ulit..kailangan mo ng panahon upang mabuo ulit...

Tulad ng isang sugat na hindi gagaling sa isang iglap..pero alam mong darating ang panahon na ito ay maghihilom..at mag-iiwan ito ng marka na magpapaalala sa'yo na minsan ikaw ay nadapa at nasugatan...ang mahalaga mayroon kang natutunan sa iyong pagkakadapa..at sa muli mong pagbangon mas matibay at matapang ka na..

Alam ko mahirap magsimula ulit..pero kailangan mong tumayo at harapin ang mundo..tiwala lang..
May plano si God para sa'yo kapit ka lang sa kanya!! :)

PS: Hindi ako eksperto sa pag-ibig pero marami pa akong gustong sabihin siguro sa susunod na lang...sana maiapply ko rin tong pinagsasabi ko sa sarili ko...haha...

Tired of these thoughts

How am I going to start this..
Hmm...as much as possible I want to be positive and happy on my blog post..but it's the other way around..
Lately I feel sad..I'm feeling down..and negative thoughts just keep on coming..
I start to ask myself..why? why am I feeling this way?
Why negative thoughts just don't stop..
I was once a happy little being..I always see the brighter side of life..
In fact when times get tough and things are gettin' unfavorable..I just told myself that there's a reason behind everything and a sound in my head will say this phrase "Kristine..you're not stuck the way things are..life is a big wheel..life changes so just keep going.."
So what happened now?? why I feel like I am trapped in a place where I am not supposed to be..

It feels like the world is busy outside..and I am here alone and doing nothing but to think and fonder on the anxieties that my frantic brain has to offer..
And to be more specific..here are the things that bothers me a lot..
Before I think I was great on my own ways..not until I became a home buddy cause I can't find a job that suits me..or am just unlucky? or not good enough? (see how a situation gets me into so much negativity)
It feels like I can't do anything right and feelin' hopeless...
I started to compare myself to others..my career..how mess up I look (I've been suffering for acne break out for almost 2 months and on a medication right now)...
My thoughts began to wander to "the dark side" questioning my abilities...

I know that other people might experiencing much greater dilemma than I am into..
I'm just tired of this thoughts.. I just need to let it out..

Can you please tell me that soon things will get better? :(

Tag-ulan..

Panahon na naman ng tag-ulan..
Andyan na naman ang biglang buhos ng malakas na ulan..ang nakakabingi't nakakatakot na kulog at kidlat..ang nakakainis na baha..at ang mas nakakatakot...ang bagyo na maaring makapinsala sa marami kung hindi tayo magiging handa...

Ayaw ko ng ulan...hindi dahil takot ako sa tubig... :D
Ito ang mga dahilan kung bakit hindi ko trip ang ulan...Unang una ang hirap lumabas  ng bahay pag umuulan..ang hirap gumala..di ba? wala naman akong sarili kong sasakyan..kaya no choice kundi magcommute at gumamit ng payong..
May mga bagay na hindi mo magagawa kapag umuulan..katulad ng magjogging..mag stroll gamit ang motor..mag swimming sa beach..(sabagay bakit mo ba iisiping magswimming eh tag-ulan nga..)
Hindi ko alam kung katulad nyo ako..kasi ako ayaw kong mabasa ang mga paa ko..lalo na mababad sa baha..
Katulad ng nauna kong sinabi na kailangan mong magpayong..tamad akong magbitbit nito ang ending eh mababasa ka pa rin naman.. (buntong hininga)
Papasok ka ng opisina na basa at lamig na lamig sa aircon...

Pero nung bata pa ako gustong gusto kong naliligo sa ulan..nagtatampisaw..hindi alintana ang putik sa mga paa ko..may mga pagkakataong titingin ako sa langit at iisipin na..."ang galing!" "gaano kaya katagal naglalakbay ang ulan bago pumatak sa lupa?" "paano kaya nabubuo ang ulan?" kasabay ang pag-ipon sa aking mga palad ang bawat patak nito..

Talagang ang sarap matulog sa malambot na kama...sa ilalim ng makapal na kumot..dahil sa lamig na hatid ng ulan...Parang hinihila ka ng kama kaya ang hirap bumangon..
Pwede ka ring mag food trip..ang sarap kumain ng champorado at tuyo..o humigop ng mainit na sabaw gaya ng lugaw goto at sopas..at ang paburito kong pares! :)
Isa pa sa naalala ko nung nag-aaral pa ako ay ang pag aabang ko sa anunsyo sa tv na suspended ang klase..halos lahat naman ata dumaan sa ganun..di ba?
Masarap mag-movie marathon lalo na yung mga nakakatakot na movie tapos biglang mawawalan ng ilaw...at pag walang ilaw nung bata pa ako...trip namin ng mga pinsan ko ang mag taguan..
Ilan lang yan sa mga bagay na gusto kong gawin tuwing umuulan..

Kayo ano ang masasabi nyo sa ulan??
Nga pala paalala maging handa sa ulan..ihanda ang kapote..payong..jacket..extrang damit..bota..tsinelas.. at kung ano ano pa..alam nyo na yan malalaki na kayo..
:)